Dundonald F.C. join European Pub League

Dundonald Football Club are among twelve teams who have a agreed to form a new European Pub League.

The Dundonald outfit will join the likes LSD Eindhoven, DLA Galaxy and Real Hungover in the competition.

‘This is a unique opportunity to play against half-p*ssed overweight men wearing knee-straps in different European cities’, said a Dundonald FC spokesperson.

‘Our players will experience continental hangovers using beers and spirits from places such as San Ponsa, Amsterdam and Prague’.

‘Whilst we are excited about the prospect of getting sh*t-faced abroad, we would like to state our commitment to still getting w*nkered domestically’.

Under the proposals, the European Pub League campaign would start in August each year with a midweek p*ss-up and kick-about in a cheap Stag destination.

Dundonald chairman Nick McGuinness said the new drinking competition would help players reach new levels of drunkenness.

‘This will see our lads compete against some of the best drinkers in Europe’.

‘The boys are very excited at the prospect of visiting brothels and brawling in different European cities’.

However, there has been widespread condemnation from player’s wives and girlfriends.

In a short statement released on Dundonald’s Facebook page, the wives and girlfriend’s said:

‘Are they f**k’.

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