Behind closed doors school sports day will have ‘Ma and Da Crowd Feature’ for kids

NI Education Minister Peter Weir has confirmed 2021’s School Sports Day will again be held behind closed doors although children will be given the option of an interactive crowd noise.

Those participating in our primary school’s prestigious annual sporting event can enjoy the new ‘Mas & Das Crowd Feature’.

EA SPORTS have created a range of crowd noises and chants to help recreate the vitriolic atmosphere of Sports Day directly for kids.

Children can choose between the crowd sound, which includes pyjama-clad women screaming ‘commmmmme owwwwan’, or stadium noise, which allows us to hear the shrieks and giggles of hundreds of smaller children doing absolutely nothing they’re told.

The event will also be broadcast live to parent’s living rooms by pressing the red button on their ‘motkentrols’. 

The news was welcomed by parents across the province who thought the opportunity to yell and run down other people’s children had evaded them this year.

‘It means I can stay in my house jammies and I don’t have to stick on my going out jammies’, said mother-of-three Helen McMelter.

‘And I can call our Zayn a useless wee f**ker when he drops the egg without any disparaging looks from all the snobby buck-begs in their active wear’.

Meanwhile, Helen’s son Zayn was relieved that this year’s event would be held behind closed doors.

Each year Zayn’s father, Joe, enters the parent’s race hoping to exorcise the demons of his own failed athletics career which never really existed.

He explained: ‘If it’s not that false bitch waving at me like I’ve just came home from a tour of Afghanistan, it’s my da making a d**k out of himself in the mas & das race’.

‘He only won last year cos he got the fella who came 1st disqualified for being on the roids’.

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