Punishment beating for man who drove car with eyelashes to the shop

A Dundonald man was brutally attacked by a gang of masked men after driving his girlfriend’s car to the shops, it has emerged.

28-year-old Pat Tella nipped to the shops in his girlfriend’s bright pink Fiat 500 complete with headlight eyelashes around 1100BST.

Eyewitnesses claim Mr Tella was set upon by a gang of masked men when he emerged from the shop

He was dragged to a nearby alleyway and viciously ‘de-begged’ before being shot in both knees.

Speaking from his bed in the Specialist Drama Unit at the Ulster Hospital, Mr Tella recalled:

‘I didn’t wanna drive that pink eyesore but she made me’

‘My own car’s away being fixed but she wanted me to go to the shaps to get her a wee surprise’.

‘I thought I’d managed to get back to the car without anyone seeing me but before I could get the door open, a group of fellas with woolly bakes bate the beg outta me’.

‘All I remembers is one of the fellas saying – ‘Are those your wee frooty eyelashes ya froot ye?’

‘But before I could answer them, I got trailed up an entry an’ shat’.

A group calling themselves the Dundonald Liberation Army have claimed responsibility for the attack.

A statement on behalf of the organisation was sent to the Belfast Telegraph this afternoon which read:

‘Any men found to be driving a wee girl’s motor with those rare looking eyelashes on the headlights will be shat… no warning’.

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