Ballysallagh footbridge enters Guinness Book of Records as world’s most crashed into pointless stone structure

A delegation from the Guinness Book of Records descended upon County Down after it emerged the Ballysallagh Road footbridge had been struck by another f**king lorry. 

Commuters approached the bridge this morning to discover it had a large, heavy motor vehicle lodged underneath it for the 31,025th day in a row.

This is in spite of various new signposts which are visible from space, just not to long distance lorry drivers.

The PSNI said: “Motorists are advised to avoid the area of the Ballysallagh Road, Bangor because yes, you’ve guessed it, yet another dickhead has smashed a lorry into the f**king bridge”

The old footbridge has been struck by a lorry every five minutes since 1.05pm on 3rd June 1934 and today’s events have left road users in a state of utter despair.

“This is a bloody disgrace”, chuckled commuter Alfred Romeo.

“I’ll have to take an unnecessarily long detour and probably be very late for work”,

“Yeoooooooooooooooooooo”, he bellowed out the driver window whilst zipping up a back-road to the arsehole of absolutely nowhere.

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However, one other disgruntled motorist took extreme measures .

“Take that ya ballix ye”, yelled 51-yr-old Maurice Minor while lobbing a grenade at the completely f**king pointless stone structure before ducking for cover.

“See instead of continually repairing this bridge and closing the roads off, why not just tear the bastard thing down!?”, he yelled as debris rained down around us.

“There’s about as much point in that bridge as there is to a porn storyline!”

“It’s only there because Lord Marblemouth wants to walk his cows across it once every leap year! Wise up!”

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