36-year-old man getting socks and Lynx sets for Christmas

A Dundonald man is set to receive socks and Lynx sets for the fourth consecutive Christmas, it has emerged.

After waking up on Christmas morning the past three years to find only novelty socks and a Lynx Body Spray and Wash Duo Gift Set under the tree, Chrissy Kringle (36) has resigned himself to idea that this year will be no different.

The uninspiring gifts have led Chrissy to ponder whether or not he’ll even bother getting out of bed at all this year.

‘I might just lie on’, explained Chrissy

‘A fucking 3-pack of Star Wars socks out of Primark and a £2.49 Lynx Africa set. Hardly worth getting out of bed for’.

These disappointing experiences have left the 36-year-old with a rather grim outlook regards the festive season.

‘Christmas? The same aul shite every year, so it is’.

‘Sitting in a living room watching Home Alone for the 400th time with all the people you try to avoid the other 364 days a year’.

‘Everyone wearing ridiculous jumpers and throwin’ Quality Street down their fat necks while a Brussel sprout fart-cloud hangs in the atmosphere like a layer of smog’.

‘Christmas mornings used to be about Xboxes and Blu-Rays. But as soon as you hit your 30s, people just stop putting the effort in’.

‘Lazy, unimaginative bastards the lot of them’.

When asked what he got his wife and kids for Christmas, Chrissy replied ‘Amazon vouchers’.

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