US President Biden looks set to attend just one venue during his visit to Northern Ireland – Belfast’s newly refurbished Primark store.
He had been invited to Stormont to mark the 25th anniversary of the Good Friday Agreement but told aides he’d ‘rather use a toaster as a bath bomb’ than endure an afternoon in MLA’s company.
A visit to Queen’s University was also briefly considered but First Lady Jill Biden feared the president might end up on a three-day bender in the Holylands.
But while no official details have been released, it’s understood the visit will involve just one engagement at the City Centre Primark.
Mrs Biden is believed to be a huge fan of the fast fashion retailer and modelled some of the store’s Betty Boop nighties on her OnlyFans account.
President Biden was due to re-open the store at the historic Bank Buildings last year following a major fire but forgot where his passport was and his own name a week beforehand.
‘I’m looking forward to getting some jammies for the kids and trailing the wig off some wee doll from Lenadoon in the queue’, President Biden told the Andersonstown News.
‘God bless Castle Street and the Violumpet Man’.
The Dundonald Liberation Army 