Man in new relationship dies from holding in fart

A Dundonald man who held in a fart for 17 hours, has died.

31-year-old Ivor Windass spontaneously combusted as a result of a huge build up of gas in his alimentary canal.

The window cleaner recently confided in friends and family that he’d entered into a new relationship which wasn’t at the ‘farting in front of each other stage yet’.

Mr Windass started dating a woman several weeks ago and had so far refrained from breaking wind in her company.

However, after accepting an invitation to spend the night in her flat, he found himself suppressing what he described to friends in a text as a ‘weapons grade methane attack’ for a prolonged period of time.

Tragically, Windass exploded after almost 17-hours of stifling the fart and died instantly.

His devastated girlfriend has encouraged others to open up about ‘fart holding’ which claims the lives of an estimated 10,000 young people in the UK each year.

‘Don’t bottle it all up’, she said.

‘If only we’d spoken about it, I could’ve told him I was busting to let one rip too’.

‘I wish he was here now so I could put my arse cheeks against his leg and unleash a turd tremor’.

‘We have to end the stigma’.

Mr Windass’ friends and family are asking the public to join them outside City Hall on Saturday when they’ll be farting in solidarity to raise awareness for the issue.

‘It’s ok to fart folks’, said the family.

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