Fourth man dies from boredom outside re-opened Primark

A Belfast man tragically passed away this evening while waiting for his girlfriend outside Primark in Belfast City Centre.

Dom Bordman was found on a nearby public bench by shoppers who believed he was sleeping.

The 35-yr-old passed away while waiting on his girlfriend who was queuing to get into Primark which reopened its doors today for the first time since the building was deliberately set alight by another bored boyfriend 4-years ago.

Forensics experts estimate that Mr Bordman was stood outside the shop for approximately 45 minutes before finally succumbing to the effects of boredom.

Paramedics on the scene claimed it was the worst case of bored-boyfriend related death they’d seen since Christmas.


‘The poor b**tard ran out of phone data within 10 minutes of waiting outside the shop’, explained paramedic John Saint.

‘After that, the only thing to keep him entertained was the brawling junkies and the sound of the violumpet in the distance’.

His girlfriend told police she’d lost track of time after initially telling Dom she was ‘only nipping in for a quick nosy’.

‘I only wanted to see what jammies they had in for the kids’, she recalled.

‘I asked Dom if he wanted to come in with me, but he said he’d rather stir fry his ballix’.

It takes the number of deaths outside Primark to 4 and police are advising women to leave their male companions at home.

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