Local woman orders a Chinese as soon as she’s home from holiday


A Dundonald woman ordered ‘the usual’ from her local Chinese takeaway just minutes after arriving home from holiday, it has emerged.

37-yr-old Helen McMelter was barely through the front door when she instructed her partner Joe to ‘ring la Chinkers’.

Helen, who spent 10 days drinking in an Irish pub in Benidorm and ate nothing but chips, said she couldn’t wait to get home and sample some proper Northern Irish cuisine such as chicken fried rice.

‘All I could think about on the plane was a chicken fried rice with a portion of curry sauce – but the portion curry sauce has to be separate nai’, explained Helen.

‘So as soon Joe brought the fifteen cases in, I says to him, ‘place an order for collection, luv’.

‘Ach, well ya know what those lying bastards down at the Golden Garden are like. Takes 2hrs to get here and every time ya ring it’s always ‘he’s on his way, luv’. 

And so, while Joe was picking up the Chinese, Helen got the plates, knives and forks out.

‘I hope that dickhead remembered to tell them to pack my curry sauce separately. He never checks the bloody beg before he leaves the place’, barked Helen.

We caught up with Joe when he arrived home with the bulging white Chinese take-away bag and asked if he’d checked the order was correct before leaving the shop.

‘Ah f**k’, sobbed Joe.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s