Emergency were called to scene of an accident on the Craigantlet Hills this morning when the driver of a Smart Car collided with a rabbit.
The animal walked away from the crash unscathed although the vehicle has been totally destroyed.
A PSNI spokesman confirmed:
‘Motorists are advised that the road over Craigantlet has been closed following a serious collision involving a small brown rabbit and a silly wee motor’.
‘The rabbit was treated at the scene but paramedics said that most of the animal’s pain was emotional’.
Wild rabbit, Bugs McBride, struck by the two-passenger eyesore told us:
‘I was crossing the road to get to an adjacent field when suddenly this toy car came hurtling towards me’.
‘I didn’t have enough time to get out of the way so I just put my paws over my eyes and hoped for the best’.
‘The car ripped open like a tin of tuna upon impact’.
Bugs went on to describe the stigma attached to being run over by Smart car.
‘A badger and a hedgehog across the road were pissing themselves laughing at me’.
‘My twenty-seven brothers were squashed by proper cars like Fords and Volvos. I’ll never get over the shame’.
The owner of the vehicle was taken away and breathalysed several times after an initial reading showed zero traces of any intoxicating agents.
A PSNI spokesman explained:
‘You’d have to be on drugs to be driving about in one of those things’. ‘
‘We’ll just keep testing the fella until we find something’.
The Dundonald Liberation Army 
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