Organisers of Northern Ireland’s summer riots have confirmed a move away from the traditional petrol bomb as their weapon of choice amid escalating fuel prices.
Each year, thousands of people across the province participate in violent public disturbances which rumble on for several weeks.
Petrol bombs have traditionally been the go-to murder weapon for rioters but soaring fuel costs has forced organisers to seek out cheaper flammable liquids to throw at the police.
One alternative suggestion has been to use the millions of gallons of unused hand sanitiser left over from the coronavirus pandemic.
Imbeciles paid upwards of £10 for 100mls of the anti-bacterial hand gel at the peak of insanity during the initial months of the outbreak.
50-yr-old menace to society, Chuck Stone, claims the sanitiser will allow low-income families to engage in bitter sectarian street-fighting this summer.
Stone, who’s been involved in cross-community rioting since the age of 12, told us:
‘The escalating fuel crisis should not prevent us from engaging in a running battle with the PSNI or those of a different religious persuasion’.
‘While unconventional, I’m certain lobbing flamming hand sanitiser canisters at the peelers will be no less satisfying’.
‘It’s is also a more hygienic weapon for the rioter, as we make our way out of the pandemic’.
The Dundonald Liberation Army 