A fella on Facebook who proclaimed to be the world’s foremost authority in the field of virology is now an expert on foreign policy, it has emerged.
Despite not having the medical background to squeeze a pimple, Noah Tall spent the past 2-years offering his opinion about all things Covid-19 related on social media.
However, as the Ukraine-Russia crisis escalates, the 32-year-old weed enthusiast has vowed to channel his energy into resolving the conflict.
‘They’re are saying peace talks have broken down. I don’t understand why they don’t go onto Russia’s Facebook page and start typing in uppercase. That’s how I win my arguments’.
‘But here, if there’s a World War 3, it is what it is. If NATO needs me, I’m prepared to go over there and do my bit. All they need to do is ask’.
However, Noah’s mother, Ethel, had a different view on her son’s diplomatic and military skills:
‘The wee lad couldn’t even negotiate a better phone tariff last month never mind a peace accord with Vladimir Putin’.
‘He thinks because he’s played Call of Duty he’s ready for a tour of Eastern Europe. The only thing he’ll be getting after a kill streak over there is PTSD’.