Notorious homewrecker Cotton Eye Joe dies from complications of syphilis, 81


Legendary US lothario Cotton Eye Joe has passed away peacefully in a bed surrounded by hookers following a lengthy battle with syphilis at the age of 81.

Joe was the subject of a famous song about a man with an STI who roamed the American deep south stealing people’s girlfriends.

The song written by a Swedish man in the mid-1990s, who went spiraling into a world of dreadful Eurodance music and Ecstasy after Joe infected his would-be fiancé with syphilis.

Joe’s origin and whereabouts since the release of dance track have been the subject of much speculation over the years until the Child Support Agency finally tracked him down to a Tennesssee bordello last year.

Regular visitors to the house of ill repute, including former President Bill Clinton, claim Joe was bed ridden for final three years of his life before finally succumbing to the various complications of the infection.

It was Joe’s dying wish to be cremated and have his ashes scattered all over a whore’s face.

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