Those refusing to participate in the Covid-19 vaccination programme are abandoning the traditional ’12 Bars of Christmas’ by organising a dozen festive piss-ups in each other’s kitchens, it has emerged.
Each year, thousands of the province’s most dedicated piss-artists would engage in a mammoth day-long drinking session in twelve different watering holes.
However, the introduction of controversial domestic COVID vaccination certificates has resulted in many anti-vaxxers breaking from convention.
‘It’ll be like the normal 12 bars of Christmas but without the risk of bankruptcy, hypothermia or being placed in a coma by bouncer experiencing roid-rage’, said Belfast anti-vaxxer Conor Spearsy.
‘Obviously, we’ll still be wearing hilarious Christmas jumpers because we’re legendary banter merchants’, added the 39-year-old stay-at-home-son.
‘And we’ll still be pissing, vomiting and defecating in the street during the dander to each other’s houses’.
‘But we won’t have to pay £7 for a pint or have our movements tracked by Bill Gates’.
Dundonald anti-vaxxer Helen McMelter is equally as enthused about the ’12 kitchens of Christmas’.
‘No queuing for drinks, you can smoke in doors and if you can sit on a toilet seat without the fear of picking up an aggressive yeast infection’.
The Dundonald Liberation Army 