Police in North Down are appealing for anyone who may have seen a peasant woman wearing hideous sheepskin boots, it has emerged.
In a post on their Facebook page earlier today, the PSNI said: ‘At 11am Police received a report of what has been described as a hillbilly woman, most likely in receipt of government benefits, wearing ghastly tan boots, sighted in the Cultra area’.
The news sent shockwaves through the affluent residential area with many wondering how something so horrible could happen where they live.
Lady Ethel Marblemouth claims to have spotted the unsophisticated beast roaming the streets after some renovation work forced her to leave her home.
‘We are having a waterfall feature installed in the fourth floor bathroom but the builders were making a frightful racket’, explained Lady Marblemouth.
‘So, I took Coco, our Chihuahua out for walk. Well, I got about 100 yards down the road and the next thing you know, this rotund peasant woman in sheepskin boots came bounding toward us’.
‘I threw my jewells and cash at her and begged her not to stab us. Thankfully, she was distracted by something she was eating at the time. It was something repulsive like sausage meat wrapped in puff pastry. Oh, the horror of it all’.
The PSNI have warned residents to approach the troglodyte with extreme prejudice.
The Dundonald Liberation Army 