Not being Donald Trump not enough to be good President, study finds


Not being Donald Trump is not enough to be a competent President of the United States, a recent study has revealed.

Research shows that ousting a megalomaniac such as Trump and replacing him with someone you’ve plucked from a nursing home simply because he isn’t Trump can have dire consequences.

One test subject, Joe Biden, confirmed as much when he curled up in the fetal position and shielded his face with a notebook during a tense press conference yesterday during which he was grilled about the unfolding shit-show in Afghanistan.

‘Our study shows that replacing one ageing protest vote President with another is a really shite idea’, Head of Research at the Institute of Silly Studies, Dr Steph O’Scope told us.

‘I think the electorate would have voted for Joe (Biden), Bill Cosby or even a half-eaten lunch, just as long as Trump was deposed. But perhaps, the democrats should’ve vetted their nomination a little more?’.

‘Looking at the data, things couldn’t have turned out any worse if Kanye West had won the election’.

Meanwhile, Tony Blair and George W Bush have politely declined the opportunity to be flown by the US military to Kabul to conduct face-to-face negotiations with the Taliban and ISIS-K.

‘Isn’t Afghanistan on the red list? Maybe next year’, said Blair while stroking his hideous mullet.

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