Investigation launched after McDonald’s ice-cream machine found to be working

A County Down branch of McDonald’s has launched an in-house enquiry after it emerged their ice-cream was fully-functioning.

McDonald’s bosses have promised to investigate allegations made yesterday by a shocked patron who ordered a Sundae and got one.

Phyllis O’Fish (35) made the startling discovery after visiting the branch’s famous Drive-Thru facility which prides itself on its ‘100% guarantee of a ballsed up order’.

‘Usually, I’ll promise the kids an ice-cream outta McDanalds if they don’t act like animals in a soft-play area’, explained Phyllis.

‘99 times outta 100, the useless b##tards tell me the machine isn’t working and I get to see the devastation on the wee brat’s faces’.

‘So last night I pulled up to the Drive-Thru window and much to our amazement, the wee fella with the spotty bake said the machine was working’.

‘As you can imagine, I was straight on the phone to the manager. How dare I arrive home to find I’d received all the items I’d paid for’.

McDonald’s have closed the premises until they feel they’re ready to f**k up orders again.

A statement read:

‘The branch will be closed until the matter is resolved.

‘In the meantime, you could re-create the conditions of our branch in your own home by throwing chips on the floor and pissing around your toilets instead of in them’.

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