Study finds ‘Crocs & socks’ more effective contraceptive than a vascectomy

A recent study has found that Crocs are a more effective form of contraception than male sterilisation.

Tests showed that 99.7% of men were unable to attain an erection whilst looking at a woman who was wearing the despicable plastic shoe.

Conversely, 99.8% of women said they’d rather feed their bodies legs first into a wood chipper than permit a Croc-wearing male within a 5 mile radius of their genitalia.

The study also revealed the rubber shoe is particularly popular with men who have zero interest in sex and women who sweat profusely during even the least taxing of tasks.

Dr Steph O’Scope explained, ‘Wearing Crocs has become a type of Social Darwinism. Due to a lack of any sexual contact, anyone wearing them will eventually become extinct, therefore purifying the human race’

CEO of Crocs Inc Brad Hogan said, ‘After some research in 2004, it became apparent that some people were more concerned with well-ventilated feet than having sex. We saw a niche in the market and exploited it fully. We sent a shipment of Crocs to China and solved their over-populating issues within a decade’.

When quizzed about the vent holes in the shoes Mr Hogan explained, ‘That’s where your sweat and dignity pours out’

The hideous foam clogs will be available on the NHS with effect from 2022.

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