A Dundonald man is contemplating lighting his barbecue tonight as temperatures reach a scorching 13 degrees.
Big Geordie Foreman purchased a Weber Genesis II gas barbecue during his lunchbreak and is hoping to impress his family with his cooking prowess in the garden.
Furthermore, the 39-year-old father-of-two threatened to cook outdoors for the rest of the week with the warm weather set to continue.
But not everyone is happy about the situation, namely, Geordie’s 9-year-old son, Ash.
‘I don’t mind the odd hot dog in the garden but not every f**king night’, moaned Ash.
‘As soon as the temperature rose 1 degree above freezing I knew that ball-beg would be in his novelty apron swinging those tongs about’.
‘Why do we need to cook meat over a fire like some street-person anyway?’ quizzed Ash, while squinting in the sun.
‘There’s a perfectly good kitchen in there with all the necessary amenities to prepare a non-life-threatening meal’.
But Big Geordie’s BBQ obsession goes much deeper than simply cooking outside.
‘I can’t get it up. The wife’s leaving me. Even the kids think I’m a d**khead’, confessed Geordie while turning over a Chinese chicken wing.
‘This BBQ represents the last remaining shred of my masculinity – and now, the b**tards want to take that away as well’, he sobbed into an Avengers napkin.