Ballywalter Riddler taunts DUP once again

Ards Peninsula supervillain ‘The Ballywalter Riddler’ struck again last night.

The criminal mastermind left behind another of his trademark riddles which has police chiefs scratching their heads.

‘DUP S##E OUTS’ was daubed on a wall outside a local GUM clinic striking fear into the heart of a very very close-knit community.

Get a DLA mask to cover yer bake ya ugly ballix

The target of the puzzle was the Democratic Unionist Party, who the Riddler believes are responsible for the so-called Irish Sea border.

So far the greatest minds Ballywalter has to offer have been unable to decipher the meaning of the riddle but there have been many theories.

Billy-Bob Stewart, dubbed Ballywalter’s smartest man on account of his passing C grade in GCSE English, said:

‘I ‘hink thon Riddler fella’s saying ‘DUP sake out’, as in, ‘fuck sake get out will ye’.

‘Or maybe he’s saying ‘DUP sane out’, ya know, like they’re away in the loaf or something’.

Another Ballywalter scholar Bobby-Joe Mayne disagrees:

‘When I heard the thon Riddler fella had struck again I almost fell off my sister’.

‘The Riddler may be asking the DUP if they’ll ask their mates in the UDA to put wee Sue that lives down the street out of the area. Pure melty bitch she is’.

Meanwhile, PSNI chief Gordon said:

‘It’s clear that we are dealing with a criminal mastermind with a genius-level intellect’.

‘I reassigned all our social media squads to work on this case’.

These taste even better than they look

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