Epic Games to release special edition ’12th Fortnite’ for Prods

Fortnite developer Epic Games are releasing a new season of the hit online video game aimed specifically at the PUL community in Northern Ireland.

The special edition, called ’12th Fortnite’, is a player-versus-player game based on the Ulster Protestant celebration known as ‘The Twelfth’ or ‘Da Twellff’.

In the game, weaponless players airdrop from a “Battle of the Boyne Bus” that crosses the game’s map.

When players land at various sectarian interface areas, they must scavenge for weapons, alcohol and hijack vehicles while trying to stay alive and to attack and eliminate other players known as ‘Fenians’.

12th Fortnite will be launching just in time for Christmas and is expected to be No.1 on all Loyalist children’s lists to Santa.

However, Dundonald man Big ‘Bap’ McBride told us he’s barred his son, ‘Wee Bap’, from playing Fortnite after a rather unsavory incident:

‘Apparently he asked his ma if she was lukin her V bucked. So I slapped the lugs clean aff the wee cunt and sent him to bed’.

Bap believes the emergence of electrical devices such as i-Pads are to blame for the decline in feral children meandering the streets looking for adults to antagonize or things to set-alight.

‘Playing those games are bad for him. He should be out smoking feg butts off the street or lobbing bricks at cars like I did when I was his age’, he added.

New Fakeaway choices from Fletcher Meats

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