Dundonald man doesn’t know how he’ll cope with another 4 weeks of flouting Covid-19 restrictions

After 7 months of breaking just about every restriction imposed by the government in relation to stopping the spread of the coronavirus, Dundonald native Joe McMelter doesn’t know if he ‘can cope’ with 4 more weeks. 

The 35-year-old blasted the latest round of ‘draconian measures’ put in place by Stormont despite the fact he’s ignored every fucking one of them since March.

Citing his mental health and other lies, Joe claims he doesn’t know how much more he can take.

‘I’m at my wits end’, he sighed.

‘Apart from half a dozen unnecessary daily trips to the offies, a few street parties and the odd house party – I’ve barely been through the door this week’.

The furloughed worker says it’s akin to living in Nazi Germany, claiming to have been harassed by police on several occasions while out shopping for essentials.

‘I was on my way back from B&Q in the car when the PSN-IRA pulled me over’.

‘Apparently a Lazy-Spa and a drinks cooler aren’t essential items?’.

The self-employed tiler also took aim at the ‘Facebook Touts’ who’ve reported his social media activity to the police on several occasions.

‘I was at a social-distancing 4-day wipeout in my mate’s kitchen last week. It was quiet enough, just the 55 of us. Anyway, some touting tramp phoned the cops when I uploaded a video of us all to TikTok’.

However, Joe says the hardest thing to deal with is being unable to see his 98-year-old grandfather who has cancer.

‘Can’t wait til this is all over so I can give him a big hug and probably kill him’, he sobbed.

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