9 out of 10 kids concerned about how much time their adult spends making a dick of themselves online

A new study has revealed that 9 out of 10 children are concerned about their parent’s screentime – especially parents making a dick of themselves in Facebook groups.

Researchers found that adults are spending on average 6 hours-per-day rowing online with strangers.

Concerned children are eager to limit their parent’s screentime in order to minimize the chances a classmate might stumble upon their cringeworthy debates.

Head of Ridiculous Studies at Dundonald Looniversity, Dr Brian Surgeoner told us:

‘In 9 out of 10 cases, children feel the adults in their home are spending too much time making complete and utter bellends of themselves online’.

‘This is particularly common among parents aged 35-50, who’ve fuck all better to do with their evenings than get embroiled in a game of dickhead tennis with some other ball-bag in the comments section of a Facebook post’.

Dr Surgeoner believes children can reduce the amount of time their adult spends online with a few simple tricks.

‘If you see your ma about to pour her 3rd glass of pinot grigio and log onto North Down Mums, remind her of the cunt she made of herself the last time when she offered another group member a fair dig over a dispute about effective remedies for getting rid of children’s rashes’.

‘Or if your da’s threatening to have someone done in again over a dispute about whose cat shit in his garden, tell him you’re scundered to the max for him and pour his rioja down the sink’.

Meanwhile, 45-year-old father-of-two Richard Head, has dismissed the studies findings and says it won’t stop from making a cunt of himself online.

‘There’s no better way to unwind at the end of a long day by logging onto Facebook to hurl abuse at someone you’ve never met before’.

‘Covid-19, 5G, Hollywood paedos, dog shit on the pavement, you name it – I’m up to my balls in that til about 1 in the morning’.

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