Dundonald woman’s diet starts on Monday

A Dundonald woman has claimed her strict new diet will commence on ‘Monday coming’, it has emerged.

35-year-old Carol Rea made the announcement on Facebook this morning in a post which read:

‘That’s it, diet starts on Monday. I’ll never fit into my holiday clothes at this rate’.

Carol felt compelled to share this useless information with her social media followers after another week in lockdown spent gorging on Chinese take-aways and copious amounts of alcohol.

This morning’s declaration is the latest in a long line of unfulfilled threats to embark upon a new healthier lifestyle from the mother-of-three.

Despite, Carol believes that starting her new diet on a Monday gives her the best possible chance of success this time.

‘There’s no point in startin yer diet on a Thursday, is there nai? I mean, it’s practically the f**kin weekend like’, explained Carol.

‘We always get a wee Chinese on a Friday night and I’m nat stappin that. Life’s too short to cut out fatty foods’.

‘The Friday Chinkers can be my wee cheat meal til my fry on Saturday mornin and my Dominos on Sunday night’, she added.

Carol also understands that making drastic wholesale changes makes dieting harder to stick and she’s already made some subtle modifications to make the transition period easier.

‘I’ve switched from fried to boiled rice with my Salted Chilli Chicken and started drinking diet Coke with my Vat 19’, she bragged.

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