Local nosy bitch leaves permanent dent in her blinds

A Dundonald woman has left a permanent dent in her Venetian blinds after several weeks of being a nosy bitch, it has emerged. 

Michaela Pane has spent the past four weeks peering through her blinds hoping to be offended by the behaviour of her neighbours.

The 35-year-old will then report everything she sees to her legion of equally nosy Facebook followers.

Michaela has been instrumental in publicly shaming anyone who hasn’t participated in the clapping of NHS workers on Thursday evenings.

However, several long weeks of being a busy bitch has taken its toll on Michaela’s blinds and the mother-of-two is not happy.

‘The blinds are f**ked’, explained Michaela.

‘Me and my Jim spent all morning trying til bend them back into shape but they’re wrecked’.

And the Facebook Neighbourhood Watch admin is no doubt where the blame lies:

‘If everyone would just follow the rules then my blinds would be fine’.

‘But I’ve seen some people leave their house to go to the shop and walk their dog on the same day. Absolute disgrace they are’.

Michaela, who’s spent the majority of the past 10-years checking herself in at A&E on Facebook, is furious about the unnecessary strain these people could be putting on the NHS.

‘We need to protect our national health service’, she said while puffing on a menthol cigarette.

 

 

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