Dundonald man reports his ‘mokentroll’ missing to PSNI

The PSNI has issued an urgent appeal for information to help them locate a Dundonald man’s ‘mokentroll’.

Sam Sung of Culross Drive in Ballybeen Estate reported his ‘mokentroll’ missing after a frantic two-minute search this morning.

Mr Sung told officers he was about to tune into House of Dragons when he realised the small infrared device was no longer resting on his considerable gut.

The taxi driver claims to have searched ‘high and low’ for the gadget for nearly two full minutes before deciding to alert the authorities.

‘I was about to stick on ‘House a Dragins’ when I realised the mokentroll wasn’t on my Ned Kelly’, recalled Sam.

‘I had a quick feel down either side of me but there was still no sign of my mokentroll’.

‘That’s when I had to take the drastic measure of standing up to see if it had slipped underneath my hole, but no’.

‘At my wits end, I lifted up the cushions and ran my hand along the back of the sofa’.

‘All I found was a couple of 2ps, a lotta crumbs and a lollipop with some dubious looking curly hairs on it’.

‘That’s when I decided to phone the peelers’.

Officers arrived on the scene to find Mr Sung sobbing and randomly pressing buttons on the side of his television set.

‘We would ask that should anyone see Sam’s mokentroll, or a device matching its description please contact 101. We’ve clearly f**k all better to be doing’, said a spokesperson for the PSNI.

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