Man destroys house making breakfast


A Dundonald man caused upwards of £160,000 worth of damage to his own home while making a cooked breakfast, according to reports.

41-year-old Denny Fryer was preparing breakfast for himself and his two daughters when he inadvertently destroyed his kitchen and several major appliances in the process.

A structural engineer surveyed the damage this morning before informing Mr Fryer of the cost for repairs.

Recalling the incident while surrounded by debris, Mr Fryer recalled:

‘I thought I’d rustle up a fry for me and the kids this morning but I’d no idea how difficult it was’.

‘About eight different things cooking at once, was a f**king nightmare’.

‘While I was checking the bacon I forgot about the scrambled eggs and the microwave exploded leaving a sizeable hole in a load-bearing wall’.

‘While I was putting bread in the toaster the sausages caught fire and the room went ablaze’.

‘Then I demolished the worktop, three cupboards and the washing machine trying to spread cold butter on the toast’.

Huddled together inside a blanket outside the smouldering remains of their home, Mr Fryer’s children recall the fateful moment their father announced he’d be making a cooked breakfast.

‘We just wanted cereal but insisted upon cooking again the tw@t’.

‘Like the time he insisted on making his own chocolate chip cookies and gave us both dysentery’.

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