Local man going to BBQ again tonight

A Dundonald man can’t stop barbecuing meat as the warm weather continues across Northern Ireland.

Big Geordie Foreman purchased a Weber Genesis II gas barbecue from Homebase last month hoping to impress friends and family with his cooking prowess in the garden.

Unfortunately, June was wetter than a nursing home sofa after a Daniel O’Donnell televised special and Big Geordie never even got his Weber out of the box.

The 39-year-old father-of-two has more than compensated for last month’s washout by barbecuing every night for the past week.

Fletcher Meats have Big Geordie sorted this summer

However, not everyone is happy about the situation, namely, Geordie’s 9-year-old son, Ash.

‘Am fed up to f**k looking at BBQs’, moaned Ash.

‘Once or twice is ok. But every night that ball-beg’s been out there in his novelty apron swinging those tongs about’.

‘Why do we need to cook meat over a fire like a street-person anyway?’ quizzed Ash, while squinting in the sun.

‘There’s a perfectly good kitchen in there with all the necessary amenities to prepare a non-life-threatening meal’.

But Big Geordie’s BBQ obsession goes much deeper than simply cooking outside.

‘I can’t get it up. The wife’s leaving me – even the kids don’t respect me anymore’, confessed Geordie while turning over a Chinese chicken wing.

‘This BBQ represents the last remaining shred of my masculinity – and now, the bastards want to take that away as well’, he sobbed into an Avengers napkin.

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