Bare-bellied man aimlessly hosing his driveway in the sunshine

A bare-bellied man is aimlessly hosing down his drive-way in the summer sun, it has emerged. 

Joe McMelter spent the morning unnecessarily soaking the short road leading to his house with gallons of water using a flexible tube.

According to eyewitnesses, the 37-year-old did not appear to be aiming at anything in particular and spent most of the time looking at his phone.

‘He wasn’t rinsing anything specific’, explains Joe’s nosy neighbour, Sally Nebby.

‘He was standing in the same spot the entire time, occasionally shaking the hose as if he’d finished taking a pish’, she added.

Needlessly hosing down your driveway on a summer’s day has been a favourite pastime of rotund shirtless middle-aged men since the 1980s.

And despite the fact June’s been wetter than a cucumber in Hydebank Wood Prison, Joe thought his driveway could do with ‘a good aul soakin’.

‘There’s nathin like hosin’ down yer driveway on a pure scorcher’, beamed Joe while senselessly spraying the concrete beneath him.

When asked why he felt the need to partake in this purposeless exercise, Joe said:

‘Am nat sure til be perfectly hanest with ye’.

‘It’s just somethin’ bare-bellied men like me like to do on warm days’.

‘No one asks why people head to Millisle for a stick-a-rack, or Crawfardsburn for a wing-ding. Ya just do it when the suns out’.

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