Sports Day ruined by competitive w**ker Dad

A local man ruined his son’s first ever school sports day by taking it far too seriously, it has emerged.

Colin Bolt (37) attended his 5-year-old son’s sports day hoping to exorcise the demons of his own failed athletics career which never really existed.

In order to give himself the best possible chance of victory in the parent’s race, Bolt drove to Decathlon at Holywood Exchange that morning to buy a new pair of trainers

He arrived at the school playing field hours before anyone else to examine the terrain and other variables such as wind speed and humidity levels.

Immediately prior to the event, the father-of-one ingested an entire strip of Nandrolone pills which he washed down with an isotonic sports drink.

Proceedings got underway with his son, Colin Jnr, lining up for the egg & spoon race.

However, things turned sour when Colin Sr started heckling the other children from the sidelines.

The race was held up for several minutes after one child withdrew over claims that Bolt called him ‘a fat wee dick with no neck’.

When the race finally resumed, little Colin Jr made a great start, only to drop this egg an agonizing five metres from the finish line.

Despite recovering well to secure a respectable 3rd place finish, Coiln Sr couldn’t hide his disappointment.

So, while the rest of the children were hugged by their parents, Colin Sr refused to even make eye contact with his son.

Then finally, the moment Colin Sr had been waiting for arrived as he and several adults lined up for the hotly anticipated ‘parent’s race’.

However, disaster struck when Colin Sr felt a slight twinge while warming up.

But without hesitation, he ordered his son to administer a painkilling injection into his left buttock.

Then, after two false starts triggered by an overeager Colin Sr, the race got underway.

The 37-year-old made a great start by leaving the other disinterested overweight parents trailing in his wake.

However, with the finish line in sight, the child who Bolt allegedly called ‘a fat wee dick with no neck’ stuck his foot out sending Colin Sr head over arse.

Bolt landed awkwardly, breaking his collar bone and dislocating his shoulder in the process.

When asked if he was upset that his father had broken his collar bone, Colin Jr replied, ‘Yes. I wish it was his neck’.

Get a DLA t-shirt now, or should we say naiii…

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