Local woman buys another six bags for life

A Dundonald woman was forced to buy another half dozen reusable shopping bags today after forgetting to bring hers for the 352nd time in a row, it has emerged.

Lydia Morrisons went to do her weekly shop this morning but soon realised she’d left all her bags for life in a cupboard under the sink.

‘I’ve a head like a sieve’, admitted Lydia.

‘I have about two thousand begs for life inside another beg for life under the kitchen sink’.

‘As soon as I got to the til this morning, yer woman asked me if I’d like a wee beg’.

‘That’s when it dawned on me I’d need to buy another six or seven’, she chuckled. 

Free beers at Fletcher’s this week. Yes, FREE BEERS!

However, her husband Geordie was less amused when he saw Lydia lifting a fresh batch of bags out of a taxi’s boot.

Last month, Geordie suffered a broken fibula when he was almost crushed to death by a ‘big beg fulla begs’ which rolled over him when he opened the cupboard under the sink.

‘I was looking for the Fairy-up liquid battle cos I’d oil on my hands’, explained Geordie.

‘So I opens the cupboard under the sink and the next fing it’s like the f**kin boulder scene outta Indiana Jones’.

‘I was trapped underneath it for three f**kin hours ‘n crying for help, til she came back from Slimming World’, he moaned.

‘That’s me on the statutory sick and skint nia. But sure she got ‘slimmer a la week’. Whoopdy f**kin doo’, he sobbed.

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