A Dundonald man believes he may have scuppered any chance he had with a local dental nurse after an undignified visit to the dentist.
Romeo McBuckin had a 9.15am appointment at his local dental surgery which he believed to be a routine check-up.
However, when Romeo finally emerged from the reclining leather chair, his teeth had more fillings than Mr Kipling.
Romeo told us:
‘I strutted in there like big Dave from the MoneySuperMarket ad feeling pretty epic’.
‘But an hour later I fell out of the surgery covered in drool’.
‘My face was so contorted with anaesthetic I looked like Gail Platt sucking an Astro Belt’.
‘When the dentist told me I needed some work done I hoped the dental nurse looked like Berta from Two & Half Men because I knew I would be making a spectacle out of myself’.
‘But as soon as he’d frozen my bake in waltzed some Victoria Secret model dressed like Florence Nightingale’.
‘The next thing I know she was sucking up my saliva and tears through a rubber hose while my giant tongue hung out the side of my mouth like an anesthetized Alsatian dog about to have his ballix chopped at the vet’.
‘Once the sawing, filing and drilling is over, I was told to ‘rinse’ my mouth’.
‘This basically entails drinking a cup of disgusting strange pink fluid like someone with Bell’s Palsy and then drooling the contents of your mouth down the front of your big paper bib completely missing the sink’.
‘And here I am, two hours later, about to head into a meeting at work, bake numb and talking like an overgrown lollipop kid’.