Hitman with Jheri-curled hair double-dares anyone to say Brexit one more Goddamn time

A hit-man has double-dared anyone to say Brexit one more time, according to reports. 

Jules Winnfield (70) was seen thrusting his Colt Model 1902 Pistol into the faces of petrified passersby while walking through the streets of London.

Winnfield, originally from Los Angeles, left the United States twenty-three years ago after a near-fatal incident which he described as ‘divine intervention’ and decided to ‘walk the earth’.

The cheeseburger enthusiast who landed in the UK several years ago after a stint in Amsterdam has become increasingly irritated by talk of all things Brexit.

And with MPs preparing to vote on whether to back Theresa May’s deal for leaving the European Union, it would appear that everyone in the United Kingdom has nothing else to talk about.

Winnfield finally ‘lost his shit’ in a London cafe this morning while eavesdropping on a Brexit-related discussion between a group of pensioners.

The 70-year-old assassin flipped over the table where the pensioners sat then pointed his gun right into the face of 79-year-old Ethel Thurman.

‘Say Brexit one more time mutha fucka, I dare you, I double-dare you’, begged Winnfield while aiming his pistol at the former dinner lady.

The Inglewood gangster then recited verse Ezekiel 25:17 from the bible before unloading a full clip into her chest and face.

A police spokesperson said: ‘This man is armed and dangerous. We would advise the public not to approach him and for fuck sake, don’t mention Brexit’.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s