People of Dundonald hold candlelit vigil as B&M Bargains is set to close

Hundreds of people have gathered outside B&M Bargains in Dundonald after it was announced the much beloved store is set to close.

A spokesman for B&M confirmed to Business Telegraph yesterday that it will close its Dundonald store on January 24, with the hope of relocating its staff to other branches – much to their dismay!

As word of the closure spread through the town, devastated shoppers held a candlelit vigil outside the retailer while singing ‘We Shall Overcome’.

B&M Bargains, a seller of general cheap shite, is situated beside the Park and Ride terminal in the heart of Dundonald.

The store is a popular destination for old-age pensioners who don’t know what to do with their money and people hoping to redecorate their entire home using a crisis loan.

Devastated customer, Big Ethel Stewart, told us:

‘Oh I’m gonna miss the place so I am’.

‘Some days I don’t even need anything. I just come in for a wee nosy’.

‘Next thing ya know I’m walking out with a big canvas depicting a New York skyline and 12 tins of orange Tango on offer for a pound’.

Local head-the-ball ‘Basher’ Magee who helped organise the vigil was concerned the store closure might impinge upon his antisocial all-night summer garden piss ups this year.

‘As soon as the suns out, I’m straight down to B&M to get some garden furniture and a few disposable BBQs’.

‘Then me and the lads will get blitzed out my back til about 5am and sing about all the various times we’ve defeated the Fenians. The neighbours love it’.

B&M will make way for a new Lidl store, 8yrs after they’d had enough of the people of Dundonald the first time.

It will put the German cheapskates in direct competition with nearby Asda and Eurospar supermarkets in Dundonald.

A spokesperson for Eurospar who wished to remain anonymous shouted:

‘Nazi bastards!’.

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