Local man sues Mariah Carey over misleading lyrics

A man is taking legal action against Grammy winning artist Mariah Carey over what he claims are ‘misleading lyrics’ in her Christmas hit ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’.

Stanley Skinflint, 35, heard his long-term girlfriend belting out the words to Mariah Carey’s 1994 Christmas hit whilst they were driving to do some last minute Christmas shopping.

It was whilst listening to the lyrics of the song that his girlfriend was singing with such conviction that Stanley had an epiphany.

He explains, ‘We were on our way down to Connswater Shappin’ Centre and were stuck in the traffic in Ballyhack’.

‘I still hadn’t got her any presents and was starting to panic. Then ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ came on the radio the missus burst into song’.

‘When it came to the chorus and she started pointing at me while singing, I firmly believed she did not care about the materialistic trappings and gifts associated with Christmas, and all she wanted was to spend it with me’.

‘So I nipped into the card shap and bought a huge red ribbon. On Christmas morning when she came down the stairs, sprawled across the sofa where her presents would usually be, was me ballick naked with the big bow on my head’.

‘At first she laughed hysterically. But once she realised I’d bought her fuck all, she went mental and started throwing decorations at me. I ended up standing on a bauble and cut the fut clean aff myself’.

‘She threw me out on Christmas day and I didn’t get back into the house until I’d spunked about two grand on a credit card in the sales. Then she was able to stick a photo of her Michael Korrs watch on facebook and say ‘le boy done good’.

Mr Skinflint is now suing Mariah Carey for supplying misleading information, emotional distress and the price of a Michael Korrs watch.

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