Bangor man finally freed after 15yr ordeal

A Bangor man has expressed his relief at finally being rescued after fifteen years trapped inside a stack of tyres, it has emerged.

Davy Goodyear (42) broke down in tears as he revealed all the details of his harrowing experience to the world’s assembled media.

The father-of-three told reporters he became trapped whilst trying to retrieve a winning bookie docket which had blown out of his hand and landed down inside the tyres.

‘I took United to beat Birmingham and Van Nistelrooy first goalscorer’, recalled the council worker.

‘I was on my round to collect my winnings when a gust of wind took the docket out of my hand and into the air’.

‘I chased it up the street and saw it landing in the pile of tyres. So I climbed up and tried to reach inside but lost my footing and fell in head first’, he explained.

‘I screamed for help but no one could hear me. Worst about it was everyone thought it was some sort of practical joke’.

‘Fifteen years I was trapped upside down in those bastarding tyres and people in cars would slow down to point and laugh’.

‘As the years progressed, kids with iPhones would pose beside the tyres and take selfies. It was a living nightmare’.

Dr Steph O’Scope who examined Mr Goodyear upon his release said the 42-year-old will need time to adapt after fifteen years spent upside down in a stack of car tyres.

‘Some things about modern society are completely alien to David’, she explained.

‘He thought Twitter was the piece of skin between the twat and the shitter’.

‘He thought the X-Factor was a type of sunblock’.

When asked what were his first words, Dr Steph O’Scope replied:

‘He asked if Liverpool had won the league yet?’.

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