Absolute bastard has ‘made a wee start on Christmas’

A 35-year-old Belfast woman is boasting about how she’s ‘made a wee start on Christmas’, it has emerged.

Smug Emma Kringle will spend the next few months lecturing those around her about how unorganized they are.

The hairdresser bought most of her family’s gifts online in July, therefore avoiding the Christmas price inflation and long queues at the shops.

‘I’m totally organised, so I am’, bragged Emma.

‘I’ve already got loadsa people in. Means I can just relax and enjoy Christmas this year’.

In order to let everyone know how super-organised she is, Emma will begin every one of her conversations with the question, ‘So, are ya all set for Christmas?’.

Once the unsuspecting person admits they ‘haven’t even started’, Emma will tell them about all the toiletries and gift sets she wrapped up in July to get ‘a wee head start’.

If this doesn’t adequately panic the person, Emma will remind them how many shopping days and pay days it is until Christmas Eve.

However, her nephew Stuart revealed that Emma’s presents are ‘usually shite’.

He said, ‘It’s the same aul keek every year. A Lynx Africa set and a three-pack of Primark trunks. No wonder the miserable b**tard has her shopping finished in September’.

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