Devastated Dundonald woman’s milestone birthday not marked by bed sheet hanging off high school bridge

A distraught Dundonald woman’s family have refused to hang a bed sheet displaying a handwritten message over the high school footbridge to mark her 30th birthday , it has emerged. 

30-year-old Kelly-ann MacDramagh fully expected to see a large white sheet exhibiting a scrawled birthday message in her honour whilst making her daily commute this morning.

However, to Kelly-ann’s dismay, the only banner on display was one demanding the release of Tommy Robinson.

Having a bed sheet birthday message slung over the high school bridge is as much of a Dundonald right of passage as being fingered in the Moat Park or suffering a first-degree burn on the Indianaland Free-Fall.

And Kelly-ann is heartbroken that neither friends or family ‘bothered their holes’ to do so.

“It doesn’t even feel like my 30th nii”, sobbed Kelly-ann.

“Cos let’s face it, see unless there’s a tattered bed sheet with ‘Happy 30th Kelly-ann’ written on it hangin’ aff the high school bridge, was it even your birthday in Dundanal at all?”, she quizzed.

But her family were adamant that unlike benefit fraud and criminality, this was one Dundonald tradition they wouldn’t be adhering to.

“Sure how could I get up there with my vertigo, or her da with his back, or her we bro’rer with his anxiety?”, questioned her mother Sylvia.

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