89% of Northern Irish Millennials have never heard of a gravy ring

Most Millennials will have heard of Snapchat, emojis and dick-pics. But a ‘Gravy Ring’? Not so much, according to a new study.

The Dundonald Institute of Pointless Research defines millennials as those who are between 20 and 35 years old.

Not only are they the largest generation so far, they’re also the biggest pack of arseholes in the history of mankind

They think they know everything – but a study has revealed that they don’t know what a ‘gravy ring’ is.

For those Millennials who are unfamiliar, a gravy ring is the correct Northern Irish term for a small fried cake of sweetened dough in a ring shape.

Yes, that’s right. So if you’ve been calling it a doughnut or worse – donut, you’re fucking wrong.

“The confusion between gravy rings and donuts occurred some time during the 90s when The Troubles ended”, said Prof Duncan D. Nutt of the Dundonald Institute.

“For years, everyone would go to a bakery and get served half a dozen gravy rings in a greasy white paper bag by a woman with bad teeth called Sylvia or Betty”.

“But since the mid-ninties and the influx of American franchises like Duncan Donuts and Krispy Kreme, kids think they’re called doughnuts”

“Bring back the shootin’ and bombin’, that’s what I say”, he added.

Nineteen-stone father-of-seven and gravy ring connoisseur, Patrick Baker, claims he stamped out such behaviour in his son early on.

“I told our Nathan, it’s a gravy ring k’yid. A donut’s got fuckin’ jam in it”.

“Then I clipped him round the lug. He never made that mistake again”, beamed Patrick.

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