Hospital patient has ‘just nipped out for a feg’

A Dundonald woman asked a packed emergency room to let the triage nurse know she was nipping out for a cigarette if her name happened to be called. 

Nicola O’Teen (52) visited her local accident & emergency department this morning complaining of a shortness of breath.

Mrs O’Teen, who has smoked from she was 8-years-old, was hoping they’d be able explain why she’d had such difficulty breathing of late.

The mother-of-three arrived in an ambulance shortly after 9am still clutching a twenty-deck of Superking Menthols.

“I tried ringin’ a taxi but they said all their drivers were on jobs and they couldn’t send one for fifteen minutes. So I rang an ambulance instead”, explained Nicola.

“It had me here in less than five minutes plus I didn’t have to pay a fare”, she said with a cheeky wink and wry grin.

“I just kept my jammies on in case the big doc keeps me in”, she added.

After finding a seat among the usual assortment of hypochondriacs, junkies and brawlers, Nicola glanced at the electronic noticeboard displaying the approximate waiting time:

“Four-fuckin-hours??? Tell the doctor I’m outside having a wee puff if they call my name out’. I’d look sweet sitting there for four hours without a feg”, she barked.

And while pointing in at the packed waiting room, Nicola added:

“And there’s fuck all wrong with half of them in there. I see them here all the time”.

4 thoughts on “Hospital patient has ‘just nipped out for a feg’

  1. Words fail me !!!!! In the last year I’ve had to take my husband to A&E in the early hours, and to say it was a eye opener is a understatement !!!! The first night there was a female so drunk she was dancing around the waiting area. When I felt about 6 in the morning she was being taken out (or they were trying to) by the police !! The local texi’s won’t lift her anymore !!!!! She is a regular I’m told.She phoned members of her family and no one would come for her _ wounded why ? What a waste of money !!!!!!!!!! Sad she has massive drink problem, but should someone have the right to keep using the resources of national health time and time again ? She disrupted everyone in the waiting area, and of course the staff !!!!


  2. If they had to pay for this service the waiting room would be empty
    I had to drive my 86 year old non smoker father 20 miles to the hospital when he had a stroke because an ambulance was not available
    Probably getting Mrs OTeen to hospital
    It’s all wrong
    Use and abuse the system once and you should be struck off


  3. I recently had to be rushed to hospital, because my stupid daughter swapped my cocaine for cornflour and I snorted it. It took the ambulance over 10 minutes to arrive and I was in a right old state, cos my nerves were shattered. Then when I told the stupid woman at reception what had happened, she seemed unconcerned and I had to wait for over an hour to be seen by a doctor. He really didn’t seem concerned either. What has happened to our once great N.H.S? God only knows what harm that cornflour has done to my lungs.


  4. I agree with Maureen the people that are genuinely sick have to wait hours on an ambulance while others take the Mick out of the health and emergency servicrs!!!!


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